READING AND WRITING SKILLS: Guide to Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse!

Based on the movie Zombieland.
Title: Zombieland
Director:Ruben Fleischer
Gender: Action, comedy
Story: The horror comedy Zombieland is about two men that have found a way to survive in a word taken by the zombies.

"Go on a mental journey with the text in this article which will show you how exactly (in great detail) to survive the zombie apocalypse! Bring friends, no zombies allowed! "No, we don’t have any brains! Shoo!"

Oh boy. The zombie apocalypse has stricken the world, and how convenient: there are FOUR survivors. This could work out just fine in the end for mankind, right? Not unless you plan carefully, move cautiously, and bring a whole lotta ammunition!

Phase One: The Beginning of the End

Step 1 – Group up. Zombies will go for the loner! Don’t get caught without a buddy. Ever.

Step 2 – Got a gun? Good. Grab it, keep it on hand at all times. Zombies can come out of nowhere. They move silently (except when moaning for braiiiiiinnsss…), swiftly, and are stronger than any human. It’s not like they feel pain, either. Don’t go for the knees, don’t shoot em in the gut (not like they have functioning organs anyways!): aim for the damned head!

Step 3 – Now that you know how to use your gun (did you even READ step 2?), it’s time to put it to good use. Gather all of your friends. It’s time to move to a safer area, which, unfortunately, involves going through an incredibly dangerous zone. Stick together, back to back, whatever it takes. Make it to your designated “safe room.”

Phase Two: The Ol’ Grind

Step 1 – Let’s say it’s been a few months. Zombie here, zombie there, zombies f*cking everywhere. Big whoop. Same thing as yesterday, right? Wrong. Don’t underestimate the supposed stupidity of zombies. They may have rotting brains and poor motor skills, but they have something you don’t at this point! Numbers! Numbers means power. Don’t let your guard down, or be beaten down.

Step 2 – Find a mall. Every good zombie apocalypse requires a traumatic journey through a shopping mall. Malls are BREEDING GROUNDS for zombies (Wait, zombies can haz smexy times?). Uhhh yeah. Just uhm, keep going. Don’t let your guard down and whatnot…

Step 3 – Okay, now stand right in the middle of the mall. There, that’s it *motions for zombies to surround survivors* perfect. Well I’m afraid your time is up. Farewell, survivors!

*ALL OF A SUDDEN, FROM OFF THE SCREEN*

“DOCTOR OCTAGONAPUS BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!”

Then the Survivors had steak. Somehow. Oh come on, the whole last part made no sense! Gawd, don’t judge me. You make something better. Oh wait, they had pineapple too. Yuppers. Pineapple. Good stuff."


Which kind of movies do you like?
Why?


Do you believe Zombies really exist?
Which of this steps will you use?
Make your own steps.



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